Understanding Ourselves

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves ~ Carl Jung

 

There are many things to be understood about ourselves when we want to delve into understanding others and being of any use to them. There are many facets of our own life that we must come to terms with before we start looking into others lives. There are many innermost questions which have to be answered about ourselves by ourselves. We have to have complete clarity and awareness of our own thinking before we embark on this journey. This is essential because we must develop a non judgemental attitude about everything, even about ourselves and have complete acceptance of who we are as human beings. This has to assessed so that one manages to see himself or herself clearly, see the opinions we make and the attitude and tolerance we have towards ourselves. Then we can go on further to help others.

 

For this we must deeply question every aspect of our own life. Starting with who we are, what we want to be, what are our dreams and goals in life. Have we been able to achieve them. What are our expectations, fears and opinions. How much are we judging ourselves and others. What sort of relationships do we create and attract in our own lives. What makes us angry, sad and happy. What things do we give priority to in life. Look and analyse our abilities, qualities and belief system. Is it progressive? What is our own thought process. What are our habits, and so on.

 

As a counsellor, one will be involved in active listening of a range of issues. These include the power of thoughts, what one does consciously and un consciously, their views on religion, relationships, security, money, attachment, their family, friends, expectations, their own abilities and capabilities and an open acceptance of it all, their dreams, their achievements, their goals, their work, their hobbies, their habits, etc. How they see themselves against social expectations, what opinions they have, about themselves, about others. What are the excuses used by people, how one deals with health, recognizing a hypochondriac or courageous person. recognizing stress and depression. Helping a person see that they are dismissing their dream as wishful thinking and pushing them towards it. Helping them see the beliefs they have about themselves and their abilities. What are the fears people have? Fears of failure? What about our thoughts on success? Fear of success is another, more obscure reason why people procrastinate and fail to make a start at changing their lives. Fear of change is another thing we come across.

 

There are so many issues that a counsellor has to deal with, the study of a personality can be quite comprehensive and exhaustive. The counsellor must be well grounded and understand himself / herself, before they can analyse correctly. Be accepting of people as they are to have clarity in their own minds. It is life’s imperfections that make life completely perfect. Life is fragile and cannot be taken for granted. The privilege to have insight into the thoughts and emotions expressed by others and seeing transformations in their attitude is incomparable. Helping someone find happiness and making them realise that it is a way of travel and not a destination is extremely satisfying. Please add in any suggestions you feel may help on this journey.