Feelings, Emotions and Depression

In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer ~ Albert Camus

 

Feelings come about in a response to an action or event. The more radical or dramatic the event, the more drastic is the feeling. If feelings are pushed down or suppressed, they don’t just go away or disappear. Sometimes due to lack of ability to identify feelings or in an attempt to not acknowledge them we say “I’m fine”. Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. We need to identify the feelings, own them and lastly process them. All humans have basic emotional needs. These needs can be expressed as feelings, for example the need to feel accepted, respected and important. While all humans share these needs, each differs in the strength of the need, just as some of us need more water, more food or more sleep. One person may need more freedom and independence, another may need more security and social connections. One may have a greater curiosity and a greater need for understanding, while another is content to accept whatever he has been told. If they are very strong emotions we are feeling, a lack of acknowledgment or attention to it , will make them manifest into depression.

Building a relationship

How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them  ~ Benjamin Franklin

 

Seeking counselling takes a lot of courage. To admit that there is a problem not only to yourself, but to another also takes a lot of courage. It is important therefore to create a strong, safe, comfortable environment. Many people are very apprehensive about the first meeting. It is important for the counsellor to set up an office conducive to welcoming and making a client feel relaxed. Breaking the ice, being open, honest and welcoming, building trust, boundary issues such as contracts and terminations should all be given adequate attention to.

Qualities a counsellor must possess

I want, by understanding myself, to understand others. I want to be all that I am capable of becoming. ~ Katherine Mansfield

 

To be effective in your endeavour to be a counsellor, there are certain qualities you must possess. Counselling is a two way street. It is a cooperative effort of both parties to come to effective solutions. It also takes a certain amount of commitment to make changes on part of the person being counselled. What is expected to be achieved by the end of the sessions is something that has to be clearly defined in the mind of the counsellor. How would you do this? What are the qualities and attitude you must possess to achieve your goals and the ones set for a person receiving guidance? How would you build a healthy good and honest relationship? To help a person making changes in their life, you have to be able to observe and pinpoint the possible obstacles in the way.

Understanding Ourselves

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves ~ Carl Jung

 

There are many things to be understood about ourselves when we want to delve into understanding others and being of any use to them. There are many facets of our own life that we must come to terms with before we start looking into others lives. There are many innermost questions which have to be answered about ourselves by ourselves. We have to have complete clarity and awareness of our own thinking before we embark on this journey. This is essential because we must develop a non judgemental attitude about everything, even about ourselves and have complete acceptance of who we are as human beings. This has to assessed so that one manages to see himself or herself clearly, see the opinions we make and the attitude and tolerance we have towards ourselves. Then we can go on further to help others.

The making of a character

Knowledge will give you power, but character respect  ~ Bruce Lee

 

When we assess ourselves we are finding our true self. In the process we also find our values and principles that make us who we are. Our principles are fundamentally important and defined by our character. We tend to recognize something of ourselves in others at a very basic level. Personality is the outer persona that we show the world. Character is he inner core of someone and represents the principles and values they live by. A person may have a great personality, but a rotten character and vice versa. One can fake a personality but not character. Character is harder to spot but can be seen in the way people treat themselves and others. It is made and earned through living and learning life’s lessons. You can never give up trying to be a better human being.

Courage to change

“Carpe Diem” ~ Seize the day!!

 

To become the person we want to, we have to have the courage to change, not only thoughts but attitude as well. In order to bring in something more constructive and new into our life, it means we have to drop something which may not be as important or constructive. To review our life, helps us to get focus on things that are important to us, things we can dispose from our lives and the things we can’t. Like maybe just as an example, watching TV. A lot of us spend hours in front of it. It isn’t known as the idiot box for no reason. We can try and curb our schedule in front of the TV, for something better we want in our life. Make constructive use of our time. Time once lost will never come back. We don’t have to make drastic or tough changes. It takes time for the mind and body to adjust, we can go slow and give ourselves time, but just enough.