Identifying Stress in Kids

 

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one  ~ Hans Selye

 

Imagine yourself as a child. Barely able to run, just walk. There was nothing to really walk to, but you wanted to get somewhere out of curiosity. The carefree time, the laughter. The time when you were not expected to do anything, just be a child. Eat your meals, do your potty and sleep. Then slowly as you grew up, you were told there are things you can do and some that you can’t. Those things you could do and couldn’t do slowly built up over a period of time and started affecting you internally. And this is the beginning of stress. The expectation of doing something that someone else wants us to do, pulls us down very often. Can you recall your laughter? Have you laughed recently with total gay abandon and felt pure joy? What is this pure joy?

Stress and Heart disease

Worry and stress affects the circulation, the heart, the glands, the whole nervous system, and profoundly affects heart action.  ~  Charles W. Mayo

 

Stress is the body’s reaction to wear and tear. Every activity sets up a stress. Most diseases stem from this common cause.  It is important to understand that emotions influence body health. As such, stress is not the culprit. The trouble arises when it is prolonged or when it comes too often or when it is concentrated on any one particular organ in the body. The stressor sets off the adrenalin glands which force adrenalin into the system. When the excitement is over, the body quickly reverts to normal activities. Stressors need not necessarily be violent. For example, a gentle stroking on your forehead may help you drop off to a sleep. Emotional stress is useful in many ways. A new job can be very exciting, which will make you handle the job with greater efficiency.  An exciting match peps you up, any let down followed is healthy relaxation. If it weren’t for stress, you would be living like a vegetable. The stress that is destructive is the one that you don’t recognize. It comes from persistent anger, fear, frustration and worry.

Stress and disease

Despair often breeds disease ~ Sophocles

 

The translation of emotional distress to physiological change, and thence to a physical symptom is known as 'transduction'. In transduction, a situation is perceived, a meaning is assigned to it, an emotional response is elicited and a physiological reaction results. A complex auto immune facilitates this. When most of us think of the physical effects of stress, our minds jump to common complaints like headaches and upset stomachs. Stress, however, can affect many aspects of physical and mental health, ranging from hair, teeth, and skin to memory and concentration skills, and even how well we sleep. Psychosomatic refers to a disorder having physical symptoms but originating from mental or emotional causes. Also relating to or concerned with the influence of the mind on the body, and the body on the mind, especially with respect to disease. The good news is while these problems may seem serious, stress relief can lead to real improvements in your overall health and well-being.

Dealing with Stress

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one  ~ Hans Selye

 

Every activity sets us up for stress. We are not to blame for stress. It happens to all of us, despite our best efforts to avoid it. There are situations beyond our control that cause stress in our lives like a sudden illness or death of a loved one, a personal assault, a terrorist attack, a tsunami or earthquake etc. People who experience such events have difficulty sleeping, feel detached, have nightmares. Some even suffer from an extreme level of stress called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is often accompanied by depression, substance abuse, memory problems, and other physical and mental health problems. The disorder can affect people's day-to-day life, including their ability to function socially.

Stress and Children

As much as we thirst for approval we dread condemnation ~ Hans Selye

 

As adults and caretakers, we tend to view children as carefree and happy beings. Children do not have bills to pay, jobs to do, children to take care off, so what could possibly worry kids? Stress is a function of demands placed on us and our ability to deal with them. Demands usually come from outside sources, family, friends, jobs or school. But demands also come from within, often related to what we think we should be doing as against what we're actually able to do. So stress can affect anyone who feels overwhelmed - even kids. In pre-school children, separation from parents can cause anxiety. As kids get older, academic and social pressures (especially from trying to fit in) create stress. Many kids are too busy to have time to play creatively or relax after school. Kids who complain about all their activities or who refuse to go to them might be overscheduled.

Stress and you

It is not stress that kills us; it is our reaction to it ~ Dr. Hans Selye

 

The word ‘stress’ is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as "a state of affair involving demand on physical or mental energy". A condition or circumstance (not always adverse), which can disturb the normal physiological and psychological functioning of an individual. In medical parlance ‘stress’  is defined as a perturbation of the body’s homeostasis. Homeostasis is the ability or tendency of an organism or cell to maintain internal equilibrium by adjusting its physiological processes. This demand on mind-body occurs when it tries to cope with incessant changes in life. There can be many stress factors since different individuals react differently to the same stress conditions. Stress is often termed as a twentieth century syndrome, born out of man’s race towards modern progress and into its complexities. Simple things like managing a teenager at home or getting delayed for a flight are enough to put a person under stress. The brain cannot differentiate between real and imagined stress. It can be real or perceived, but our brain reacts the same way to both causes of stress.

Treating depression in adolescents

Depression is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you have been strong for too long  ~ Unknown

 

Depression is very damaging when left untreated, so don’t wait and hope that the symptoms will go away. If you see depression’s warning signs, seek professional help. A person can have mild, moderate, or severe major depression. If there are no health problems that are causing your teenager’s depression, ask your doctor to refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in children and adolescents. Depression in teens can be tricky, particularly when it comes to treatment options such as medication. Adolescents with mild or moderate depression are usually treated with counselling alone. If the depressive symptoms do not begin to improve within 6 to 12 weeks, or if symptoms worsen, an antidepressant medication may be recommended. Adolescents with severe depression generally require counselling in addition to one or more medications. Treatment with medication and counselling increases the likelihood of improved symptoms and relationships with family and friends; it can also improve self-confidence and the ability to cope effectively. Depression is a treatable condition. Psychotherapy (counselling), drug therapy, and other measures can alleviate symptoms and help adolescents to succeed in school, develop and maintain healthy relationships, and feel more self-confident. In adolescents, treatment for depression is most successful when the parents are involved. Learning about depression is an important component of depression treatment. Family education is also important before decisions are made about the adolescent's treatment plan.

Myths and Facts about adolescent depression

You should know by now that when I smile and say "yeah, I'm fine", it's really code for "no, I'm not okay” …….and I feel like my world is crashing down around me

  ~  The voice of a teenager

Depression is more than feeling “blue" or feeling “blah." It is more than normal feelings of sadness. When someone feels “down" or sad for more than a few weeks, they may be clinically depressed. Clinical depression is serious and it affects every part of the person and every part of their lives. The person's feelings, behaviours, health, and even the way they look might start to change. When a person is depressed, it can be very hard for them to handle everyday things, make decisions, and handle pressures. Depression is not a passing mood, and it is not a sign of weakness. It is an illness that can be treated successfully by a counsellor, psychologist, psychiatrist, or other mental health professional. These providers have been trained to help people who are feeling this way. Going to see one of them doesn't mean you're crazy. A mental health provider is not going to lock you up in a hospital. In fact, that hardly ever happens. What these professionals do is find the right way to help you feel better in the easiest way possible. There are some myths surrounding teenage depression, just as we covered myths regarding adult depression. Myths about depression often times prevent people from doing the right thing. 

Symptoms of depression and suicide in adolescents

When you asked me what was wrong I said “nothing”……. After you left I whispered everything  ~  The voice of a teenager

 

Depression in adolescence comes at a time of great personal change – when boys and girls are forming an identity distinct from their parents, grappling with gender issues and emerging sexuality, and making decisions for the first time in their lives. Depression is a medical condition that can cause a wide variety of psychological and physical symptoms. The exact cause of depression is not known. Studies suggest that depression is a biologic disorder resulting, at least in part, from an imbalance of neurochemicals in the brain, including serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine. These neurochemicals allow cells in the brain to communicate with each other and play an essential role in all brain functions, including movement, sensation, memory, and emotions. This interaction is supported by studies demonstrating the benefit of antidepressants, which help restore the neurochemical balance in the brain. Teenage depression is more than the occasional bad mood and sadness. It is a serious problem, which affects every aspect of a teen’s life. If left untreated, teen depression can lead to problems at home and school, drug abuse, self-loathing—even irreversible tragedy such as homicidal violence or suicide. Teens who are seriously depressed often think, speak, or make "attention-getting" attempts at suicide. An alarming and increasing number of teenagers attempt and succeed at suicide, so suicidal thoughts or behaviours should always be taken very seriously. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for adolescents 15 to 19 years old. However, depression in adolescents is probably underdiagnosed because the symptoms can be difficult to recognize. Depression is different than occasional blues and grief because depression is persistent and often interferes with the teen's ability to get along with parents and friends, complete school work, and appropriately participate in other normal daily activities. Depression is a treatable condition. Psychotherapy (counselling), drug therapy, and other measures can alleviate symptoms and help the adolescent to succeed in school, develop and maintain healthy relationships, and feel more self-confident.

Depression in Adolescence

Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Well that's how I feel right now I feel like I'm facing everything by myself, with nothing but tears and a fake smile  ~ The voice of a teenager

 

Teenage depression isn’t just bad moods and occasional melancholy. Depression is a serious problem that impacts every aspect of a teen’s life. Left untreated, teen depression can lead to problems at home and school, drug abuse, self-loathing—even irreversible tragedy such as homicidal violence or suicide. There are as many misconceptions about teen depression as there are about teenagers in general. Yes, the teen years are tough, but most teens balance the requisite angst with good friendships, success in school or outside activities, and the development of a strong sense of self. Occasional bad moods or acting out is to be expected, but depression is something different. Depression can destroy the very essence of a teenager’s personality, causing an overwhelming sense of sadness, despair, or anger. Many depressed teens may not even realize that they are suffering from depression. For example, teen depression often manifests itself in attitudes and behaviours that lead the depressed teen to be categorized as a "bad kid," a normal teen just passing through a "phase”.

Do’s and Don’ts while counselling a suicidal person

When we experience conflict or dissatisfaction in our relationships, we are being called on to develop something in ourselves that is weak, hidden, or unknown  ~ Jett Psaris and Marlena Lyons.

 

It is important to know that this is something that happens sometimes and people do go through such depths of misery. So, what does a counsellor do to tackle this delicate issue? It is important that the counsellor not be judgemental and use personal or religious beliefs to impose disdain on the client. The client has a right to be in charge of their destiny. They must be aware of all the symptoms and signs of a person feeling suicidal. Some of the important things a counsellor must do is:

Suicide Prevention

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it  ~ Unknown 

 

Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain. If you spot the warning signs of suicide in someone you care about, you may wonder if it’s a good idea to say anything. What if you’re wrong? What if the person gets angry? In such situations, it's natural to feel uncomfortable or afraid. But anyone who talks about suicide or shows other warning signs needs immediate help—the sooner the better. Talking to a friend or family member about their suicidal thoughts and feelings can be extremely difficult for anyone. But if you're unsure whether someone is suicidal, the best way to find out is to ask. You can't make a person suicidal by showing that you care. In fact, giving a suicidal person the opportunity to express his or her feelings can provide relief from loneliness and pent-up negative feelings, and may prevent a suicide attempt. Teenage suicide is a serious and growing problem. The teenage years can be emotionally turbulent and stressful. Teenagers face pressures to succeed and fit in. They may struggle with self-esteem issues, self-doubt, and feelings of alienation. For some, this leads to suicide. Depression is also a major risk factor for teen suicide. The highest suicide rates of any age group occur among persons aged 65 years and older. One contributing factor is depression in the elderly that is undiagnosed and untreated. There are 2 broad ways of helping a person who wants to commit suicide. 1. Finding a way to help reduce the pain and 2. Finding a way to help  increase his/ her coping resources. Below are some of the important things a counsellor must always remember and do while relating with such people.

Common myths about suicidal behaviour

I therefore claim to show, not how men think in myths, but how myths operate in men's minds without their being aware of the fact ~  Claude Levi-Strauss

 

Suicidal individuals have greater environmental burdens than their non suicidal peers including histories of abuse, interpersonal relationship problems, family disorders, exposure to overwhelming chronic stress. Coupled with depressive moods these people have an increased chance of suicidal tendencies. The additional feeling of hopelessness arising from the burdens of life is an even strong predictor of suicidal risk than depression alone. Identifying risk factors associated with suicidal behaviour is critical to the counsellor’s clinical decision making. Risk assessment by the counsellor is of paramount importance to reduce the chances of suicide. The counsellor has to watch out for the warning signs as already discussed earlier. Counsellors play a vital role in the prevention of child and adolescent suicide. When a child or youth becomes suicidal, they are trying to communicate their difficulties in coping with stress and life as a whole. Among adolescents alcohol and substance abuse significantly increase the risk of suicide during times of distress. Suicides among elderly individuals can be reduced if counsellors are aware of the suicidal messages. Almost 70% of elderly persons who commit suicide have been known to share their suicidal ideations with a family member or someone else before committing the fatal act.

When depression becomes suicide

Behind my smile is everything you’ll never understand  ~  Unknown

 

There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to another. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain. Suicide results from a complex interaction of biological, genetic, psychological, cultural, sociological and environmental factors. Depression is a major risk factor for suicide. The deep despair and hopelessness that goes along with depression can make suicide feel like the only way to escape the pain. Thoughts of death or suicide are a serious symptom of depression, so take any suicidal talk or behaviour seriously. It's not just a warning sign that the person is thinking about suicide: it's a cry for help. A suicidal person may not ask for help, but that doesn't mean that help isn't wanted. Most people who commit suicide don't want to die—they just want to stop hurting. Suicide prevention starts with recognizing the warning signs and taking them seriously. If you think a friend or family member is considering suicide, you might be afraid to bring up the subject. But talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a life. Speak up if you're concerned and seek professional help immediately! Through understanding, reassurance, and support, you can help your loved one overcome thoughts of suicide. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

Depression : Its Faces and Facets

I don't know what I want in life. I don't know what I want right now. All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any of me left  ~ Unknown

 

Depression usually isn't caused by one event or reason, but is usually the result of several factors. Causes vary from person to person. Depression can be caused by lowered levels of neurotransmitters (chemicals that carry signals through the nervous system) in the brain, which limits a person's ability to feel good. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that plays an important role in the biochemistry of depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety disorders. This neurotransmitter regulates the onset of sleep, sensory perception, mood, body temperature, hyperacusis (sensitivity to sound) and photophobia (light sensitivity). Low serotonin is associated with increased carbohydrate cravings, depression, pain, tenderness, and restless sleep. Prolonged stress consumes the levels of serotonin and can cause mood disorders, anxiety disorders, or migraine. Stimulants such as caffeine, refined carbohydrates, chocolate, sugar and stimulants such as cold remedies, alcohol, drugs, diet pills, and tobacco can also lead to reduced levels of serotonin in the brain. In the case of mood disorders, anxiety disorders or migraine, a combination of antidepressants and other prescription drugs. The long-term use of these medications can cause serotonin syndrome.

Symptoms of Depression

Every time someone asks me if I’m ok, its just a reminder that I’m not. I’m crying inside and no one knows it but me...   ~ Unknown

 

Feeling down from time to time is a normal part of life. But when emptiness and despair take hold and won't go away, it may be depression. More than just the temporary "blues," the lows of depression make it tough to function and enjoy life like you once did. Hobbies and friends don’t interest you like they used to; you’re exhausted all the time; and just getting through the day can be overwhelming. When you’re depressed, things may feel hopeless, but with help and support you can get better. But first, you need to understand depression. Learning about depression—including its signs, symptoms, causes, and treatment—is the first step to overcoming the problem.

Feelings, Emotions and Depression

In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer ~ Albert Camus

 

Feelings come about in a response to an action or event. The more radical or dramatic the event, the more drastic is the feeling. If feelings are pushed down or suppressed, they don’t just go away or disappear. Sometimes due to lack of ability to identify feelings or in an attempt to not acknowledge them we say “I’m fine”. Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. We need to identify the feelings, own them and lastly process them. All humans have basic emotional needs. These needs can be expressed as feelings, for example the need to feel accepted, respected and important. While all humans share these needs, each differs in the strength of the need, just as some of us need more water, more food or more sleep. One person may need more freedom and independence, another may need more security and social connections. One may have a greater curiosity and a greater need for understanding, while another is content to accept whatever he has been told. If they are very strong emotions we are feeling, a lack of acknowledgment or attention to it , will make them manifest into depression.

Building a relationship

How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them  ~ Benjamin Franklin

 

Seeking counselling takes a lot of courage. To admit that there is a problem not only to yourself, but to another also takes a lot of courage. It is important therefore to create a strong, safe, comfortable environment. Many people are very apprehensive about the first meeting. It is important for the counsellor to set up an office conducive to welcoming and making a client feel relaxed. Breaking the ice, being open, honest and welcoming, building trust, boundary issues such as contracts and terminations should all be given adequate attention to.

Qualities a counsellor must possess

I want, by understanding myself, to understand others. I want to be all that I am capable of becoming. ~ Katherine Mansfield

 

To be effective in your endeavour to be a counsellor, there are certain qualities you must possess. Counselling is a two way street. It is a cooperative effort of both parties to come to effective solutions. It also takes a certain amount of commitment to make changes on part of the person being counselled. What is expected to be achieved by the end of the sessions is something that has to be clearly defined in the mind of the counsellor. How would you do this? What are the qualities and attitude you must possess to achieve your goals and the ones set for a person receiving guidance? How would you build a healthy good and honest relationship? To help a person making changes in their life, you have to be able to observe and pinpoint the possible obstacles in the way.

Understanding Ourselves

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves ~ Carl Jung

 

There are many things to be understood about ourselves when we want to delve into understanding others and being of any use to them. There are many facets of our own life that we must come to terms with before we start looking into others lives. There are many innermost questions which have to be answered about ourselves by ourselves. We have to have complete clarity and awareness of our own thinking before we embark on this journey. This is essential because we must develop a non judgemental attitude about everything, even about ourselves and have complete acceptance of who we are as human beings. This has to assessed so that one manages to see himself or herself clearly, see the opinions we make and the attitude and tolerance we have towards ourselves. Then we can go on further to help others.